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Collections » Humor » Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder: | |
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Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder: Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the car, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a pot of flowers on the window sill catches my eye-they are drooping and need water. I put the Coke on the coffee table and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on table, and on the way to get a container of water, I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen counter. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen counter, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll get the water for the flowers. I get the water and spill some on the floor. I set the remote back on the counter and get some paper towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: The car isn't washed The bills aren't paid There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter The flowers don't have enough water There is still only one check in my check book I can't find the remote I can't find my glasses And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. When I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
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