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Musings of an FBI Agent

while flashbags are really loud ,and its funny to watch people walk out of the house with pee running down the front of their shorts, the tee shirts are very important to me. so let me tell my friends what happened after waking up at 4am-after going to sleep at 12am-and sitting in a parking lot somewhere in Richmond XX for 5 hours: nothing. All the while, i have agents in XX and XX arresting 4 others i have warrants for. I am trying to manage 7 arrests in XX, XX and XX from a town ive never been to.

so here, we have three federal arrest warrants: two women, one male. male is currently a known drug dealer in XX and was previously convicted of murder in suffolk county in 1992 after "he and others caused the death of a male by gunfire during a drug turfwar". because of this , i request our tact team, aka swat. they are the only ones that have bangs, gas and armored vehicles. my warrants are for bank fraud and money laundering. this makes my wife think its not dangerous, but as we all know, you dont know what these idiots did yesterday, i.e. kill someone or decided that they will not go to jail. as a visiting agent, especially XX, i dont want to be a pain, and let the testosterone heads get their fill.

anyway, after having 25 XXX agents and cops from the local dept set-up, the male and one female, married, decide not to leave their house. our plan was to have the male walk out, take him down, and rush the house and secure it for search. the locals got a search warrant for drugs, so we worked together. this is not always good b/c the locals think the feds are geeks with no street cred, and the feds think the locals are lazy and short-sighted. today was a good match with alot of respect for another.

so...after 6!! hours waiting down the street (and five minutes after speaking with wayne), with a couple of agents/cops watching the house, the guy leaves, fast. we follow him in his car to a elementary school. crap. he is there for 2 hours. we sent a marked car to ask him to leave the lot, but his kid in the school and he wants to wait. the police leader suggested we take him quitely at the school, and we agree. 5 minutes later, after undercover cops go into the school to prevent him from running in, set up, a "call" came in to not do anything at the school. appearently, 10 cars converging on a daddy is not good PR.

His wife leaves the house and drives off. two cars do a car-stop. arrest made.

if we wait, he going to have his kid. two undercover cops quitely take him as he walked away from the school. great. i then send a team to arrest the third person. arrested at work 30 minutes later. all in XX, XX and XX are arrested. great. i owe beers to 50 people.

i then interview/interrogate these people for 6 hours. they finally crack. meanwhile, i getting calls from the prosecutor ( a harvard grad who thinks that agents are cute, in a dumb way), yelling at me becase i didnt call her all day after i told her my head is in the game; HQ calling yelling for not reporting, and all kinds of crazy nonsense. i just wanted to keep my head in the game and not get shot. i think my newborn would appreaciate that. plus, i havent been home for maore that to sleep since last wed, preparing all the paperwork to get the arrest warrants.

the long sleeve tees that zoot promised me are very important because 90% of job is normal and very unexciting. zoot promised me the t-shirts and did right by them as far as stats, and im pissed that they didnt follow through.

think of it this way: my days are training, and the races are the take-downs. surveillance, for instance, is the terrible. on law and order, their targets come out of the house after an hour. all the while, the cops are in their suits, in a black cop car, windows down right in front of the house. in real life, after two days of sitting in a car or back of van, with the a/c or heat off (cause a running car brings attention. and in winter, the exhaust is pretty obvious) with a agent that thinks its funny to fart with the windows closed. also, after the guys leaves, youre probably going to loose him after some time, because the new agent had the eye and totally f'd up. then you learn the later from an informant that the target met with a new player or passed drugs, paper, money or whatever.

at the end of the day, we all get to ride our bikes together and laugh that Bill really signed up for eagleman 07

And I still think refereeing fights between my wife and daughters beats this...


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